Siyazi: isikhathi sokuphila sekati, ngokudabukisayo, sifushane kakhulu kunesethu. Ngakho-ke, lapho ukuvalelisa kokugcina kusondela, akunakugwemeka ukuzizwa udabuke kakhulu futhi ucindezelekile. Kepha uma sinabantwana, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi sibasize banqobe lezi zikhathi ezimbi ngozwela, isineke kanye nokuxhumana okufanele iminyaka.
Njenganoma ngubani wethu, nabo kungenzeka ukuthi babebona lo boya obunemilenze emine njengomngani, futhi njengomfowabo. Ukwehlukana nomuntu omthandayo kunzima kakhulu. Kungakho ngizokunikeza amathiphu amaningi ku indlela yokusiza izingane ukubhekana nokulahlekelwa ikatiukuhlanganisa iziqondiso ezithile ngokwesigaba sabo sokuthuthuka, imibono yemikhuba yokuvalelisa, kanye nezimpawu zokuxwayisa uma kwenzeka bedinga usizo lochwepheshe.
Yilungiselele usuku lokugcina
Lapho sinekati eligula kakhulu noma eligugile kakade futhi linezinkinga eziningi zokuphila impilo ejwayelekile, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuchazela izingane zethu isimoUdinga ukwazi ukuthi umngane wakhe akaphilile nje kuphela, kodwa futhi cishe kuzodingeka abulawe ngokushesha noma ukuthi umzimba wakhe uzoyeka ukusebenza ngesikhathi esithile.
Khuluma ngokwethembeka, kodwa usebenzise ulimi olululaLokhu kusiza ingane ukuba igweme ukugcwalisa izikhala ngamaphupho adala ukwesaba noma umuzwa wecala owengeziwe. Esikhundleni sokudida imisho efana nokuthi “uzolala” noma “uzohamba,” kungcono ukusho into efana nale:Ikati lethu ligula kakhulu futhi umzimba walo awusakwazi ukuzelapha ngokwaloOdokotela bezilwane benze konke okusemandleni abo, futhi kuzofika isikhathi lapho umzimba wakhe uzoyeka ukusebenza.
Uma udokotela wezilwane elindele ukuthi ukuphela kuseduze, singaqala inqubo "yokulila okulindelwe": Chaza kancane kancane ukuthi ikati ngeke liphile phakadeKhuthaza izingane ukuba zichithe isikhathi naye, zimgone, zikhulume naye, futhi zivalelise ngendlela yazo. Lokhu kunciphisa umthelela womzuzu wokufa futhi kubanike umuzwa wokuthi bakwazile ukuba naye.
Akukhuthazwa futhi ukwenza izinqumo ezibalulekile ngaphandle kokukhuluma nabo kuqala, ikakhulukazi uma bengabantwana abaseminyakeni yesikole noma abasebasha. Babandakanye ezinqumweni ezincane (isibonelo, ingubo yokumboza ikati, ukudla okukhethekile okufanele ukulinike khona ngalezo zinsuku) kubenza bazizwe beyingxenye yokunakekelwa, esikhundleni sokuba nje ababukeli bento abangayiqondanga.
Akumelwe simfihlele lutho olubalulekile.Ngoba ukukhuluma iqiniso ngokuzwela kugcina ukwethembana futhi kugwema izindaba ezifanayo okunzima ukuzisekela.
Indlela yokuchaza ukufa kwekati ngokweminyaka yengane
Indlela ingane eqonda ngayo ukufa kanye nokulahlekelwa yikati layo incike kakhulu ekukhuleni kwayo. Lungisa umlayezo ngokweminyaka yabo Kumsiza ukuba akuqonde kangcono futhi alawule usizi lwakhe ngendlela enempilo.
Izingane ezincane (ezineminyaka engu-2 kuya kwengu-6 ubudala)
Kulezi zikhathi, Banobunzima bokuqonda ukuthi ukufa kuyinto yaphakadeKuvamile ukuthi babuze ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi “ikati libuya nini?” noma babonakale bengenandaba bese bedabuka ngokuzumayo.
Kunconywa ukusebenzisa imisho emifushane necacile: “Umzimba wakhe umile futhi akasaphefumuli noma azizwe ubuhlungu.Kuvamile ukuthi baxube okwenzekile namaphupho, ngakho-ke kufanele ugweme izinkulumo ezinjengokuthi “walala” noma “waya ezulwini” uma lokho kungabadida noma kubenze besabe ukulala noma ukuthi abazali babo bazohamba.
Izingane ezineminyaka yesikole (cishe iminyaka engu-7 kuya kwengu-12 ubudala)
Kule minyaka sebevele bayaqonda ukuthi ukufa akunakulungiseka, kodwa Bangase bazizwe benecala noma benesibophoBangase bacabange ukuthi benze into engalungile (“Angizange ngimnike ukudla”, “Ngimthukuthelele”) noma ukuthi bebengakuvimbela okwenzekile.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubatshela ngokucacile ukuthi: “Akuyona iphutha lakho"Akukho lutho olwenzile olubangele ukufa kwekati." Bavame nokuba nelukuluku lokwazi futhi babuze imininingwane; singaphendula ngokwethembeka, ngaphandle kokungena ezincazelweni zezokwelapha ezingadingekile uma bekhathazekile.
Intsha
Intsha iqonda ukufa ngendlela efanayo nabantu abadala, kodwa imizwa yabo ingaba namandla kakhuluIntukuthelo, ukudabuka okujulile, ukunganaki, noma ngisho nokungakhathali okusobala. Ngezinye izikhathi bakhetha ukulila ngasese.
Esimweni sakho kuyasiza qinisekisa yonke imizwa futhi banikeze amathuba okuxoxa ngaphandle kokubaphoqa. Bangase bazizwe benecala ngokungachithi isikhathi esanele nekati, ngakho-ke kungumqondo omuhle ukubakhumbuza konke abakwenzele lona kanye nesibopho esikhethekile ababenaso.
Ake aveze imizwa yakhe
Ukukhala, ukumemeza, ukuba wedwa… lokhu ukusabela okujwayelekile ngokuphelele. Umuntu ngamunye unendlela yakhe yokukhipha umoya. Vumela izingane ziveze imizwa yazoUma befuna ukukhuluma, kufanele sibe lapho nabo; kodwa uma befuna ukuba bodwa, kumelwe sihloniphe isinqumo sabo, sihlole kusengaphambili ukuthi abazizwa bekhungathekile.
Izingane zingabonisa usizi ngezindlela ezahlukene kunezabantu abadala: izinguquko ekuziphatheni, ukucasuka, ukwesaba ebusuku, ukuhlehla (isibonelo, ukuchama embhedeni futhi) noma intukuthelo “ngaphandle kwesizathu.” Esikhundleni sokubathethisa, kungcono ukubona lezi zenzo njengezimpawu zokuthi badinga ukwesekwa okwengeziwe ngokomzwelo.
Icebiso eliwusizo ukusikisela imisebenzi ezobasiza ukuthi baveze imizwa yabo: dweba ikati, ulibhalele incwadi, gcina idayari lapho bekhuluma khona ngalokho abakuthandayo kakhulu ngaye noma indlela abazizwa ngayo. Le misebenzi ibasiza ukuhlela imizwa yabo, ikakhulukazi lapho benenkinga yokuveza imizwa yabo ngamazwi.
Kuhle futhi ukuthi bayakubona ukudabuka kwethu. Khombisa ukuthi abantu abadala nabo bayakhala futhi bazizwa bedabukile Ibafundisa ukuthi ukuzwa ubuhlungu lapho othile eshona kuyinto evamile nokuthi usizi luyingxenye yokuphila.
Ukuphoqa noma ukuphoqa umuntu ukuba enze into angafuni ukuyenza kuzomenza athukuthele ngathi futhi kumenze azizwe sengathi imizwa yakhe ayihlonishwa.
Lapho ikati lifa ngokuzuma
Uma ebonakala ephilile futhi ngakusasa simthola efile, noma uma enyamalala futhi engabuyi, Ukunqoba lokho kulahlekelwa kuzoba nzima kakhulu emndenini wonkeUmuzwa wokushaqeka, ukungakholwa, kanye nokungavalelisi uvame ukuba mkhulu kakhulu, futhi izingane zingase zibuze imibuzo eminingi ngalokho okwenzekile.
Kulezi zimo, kufanele uzame ukuqina futhi unikeze izingane zakho inkampani eningiKungaba lula ngisho nakubo uma bengahamba nathi lapho singcwaba umlotha engadini, sitshala umuthi njengesikhumbuzo sekati elishonile, noma sidala i-albhamu yezithombe enhle. Ukubabandakanya emcimbini omncane kubasiza baqonde ukuthi umngane wabo akasekho nathi nokuthi umndeni uyamhlonipha.
Singakha nezinye izikhumbuzo ezilula: imbiza yezinkumbulo Bangase bagcine amanothi amancane anezindaba ezimfushane, ibhokisi elinemigexo yabo namathoyizi abawathandayo, noma isithombe esifakwe kufreyimu ekhoneni elikhethekile lendlu. Lezi zenzo zibanika indawo ethile "yokuya" lapho bebakhumbula.
Uma ikati lishone ngenxa yengozi noma kuye kwadingeka ukuthi libulawe, kubalulekile ukuchaza lokho Isinqumo senziwe ukuze kugwenywe ukuhlupheka.Isibonelo: “Udokotela wezilwane wamsiza ukuba ayeke ukuhlupheka ngoba wayegula kakhulu; wayenomuntu futhi akazange azizwe ubuhlungu.” Lokhu kuvimbela izingane ekucabangeni ngezimo ezimbi kakhulu noma ukucabanga ukuthi ulimele ngaphandle kwesizathu.
Ukunqoba usizi kungathatha isikhathi: kusukela emavikini ambalwa kuya ezinyangeni eziningana. Izingane zethu zizosazisa ukuthi zizizwa kanjani nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, futhi kuzoba yithi ukubanikeza usizo abaludingayo, ngaphandle kokubacindezela ukuba "baqhubeke" noma ukunciphisa ubuhlungu babo ngamazwi anjengokuthi "kwakuyikati nje."
Amasiko nezinkumbulo zokubasiza ukuthi bavalelise
Amasiko anamandla amakhulu okuphulukisa, ikakhulukazi ebuntwaneni. Zisiza ekwakheni lokho ezikuzwayo Ngiyaqonda ukuthi kukhona okubalulekile okuphelile, kodwa lokho engikubonile akukwazi ukusulwa.
Eminye imibono evame ukusebenza kahle kakhulu yile:
- Yiba nomcimbi omncane womndeni lapho umuntu ngamunye esho ngokuzwakalayo ukuthi yini ayithandayo kakhulu ngekati noma yini afuna ukuyibonga ngayo.
- Ukutshala okungokomfanekisoKhetha isitshalo noma umuthi bese uwutshala ukuze umhloniphe, uchaze ukuthi, nakuba ikati lingasekho, uthando olwaluzwakala ngalo luyaqhubeka lukhula.
- I-albhamu yesithombe noma ikholaji ngemidwebo, imishwana kanye nezinkumbulo ezibhalwe umndeni wonke.
- Imisebenzi yezandla yesikhumbuzo, njengohlaka lwezithombe oluhlotshiswe yizingane noma ibhokisi elincane elinempahla yekati.
Kubalulekile ukusikisela le misebenzi ngobumnene futhi Inhlonipho uma ingane ikhetha ukungahlanganyeli noma ukwenze kamuva. Wonke umuntu ubhekana nokulahlekelwa ngesivinini esihlukile, futhi ukuphoqa lokho kungaba yinto engasizi ngalutho.
Ukusekela ngenhlonipho, ukuvuma ukuthi ubuhlobo nekati babukhethekile kakhulu nokuthi usizi lufanelekile, kusiza izingane zifunde lokho Ukuthanda isilwane nokulila ukulahlekelwa kwaso kuyinto eyigugu.Lokhu akusikho ukweqisa, noma isizathu sokuhlazeka. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, inkumbulo yokuthi ikati laduduzwa kanjani emizuzwini yalo yokugcina nokuthi umndeni wabhekana kanjani nosizi lwawo iba umthombo wamandla nesifundo sempilo esizohlala nawo kuze kube phakade.
Uma yonke le nqubo ibonwa ngothando, ngokwethembeka nangokushesha, izingane zithola ukuthi ukudabuka akubaphuli, ukuthi bangakhuluma ngokufa ngaphandle kokwesaba nokuthi uthando lwekati labo alulahleki, kodwa luguqulwa lube yizinkumbulo, ukufunda kanye nendlela ejulile yokuhlonipha zonke izidalwa eziphilayo.